I've recently been ‘researching’ in this arranged marriages business. It's for my own mental satisfaction as we, foreigners, usually find it quite incomprehensible. No doubt it is a huge thing in India - having your child 'successfully' married. Consequently, one can feel a bit frustrated comparing the levels of importance of being married here and back home. I have read through ‘matrimonials’ in the newspapers and visited some match-making websites. Here are the results:
It seems to me that the time when a girl (or boy) was married to someone recommended by a relative is over. With the development of modern technologies, it has obviously become a necessity to adapt to the new ways and search for your child's life partner on the Net (or less progressively in the papers). Moreover, why not give the children the opportunity to find someone by themselves? And that's what young people do. I've seen young girls browsing the matrimonials in regular time periods to check if there was a new 'piece'.
For us it can be quite hard to understand how, as a parent, you're able to advertise your son or daughter. However, we must realise that the perception here is that it is all for the best.
To find a ‘suitable’ partner does not seem to be difficult at all nowadays with all the Internet possibilities. Basically you have to fill in a questionnaire and wait for the replies. Or go through the adverts to find what you’re looking for. We have the same type of advertising (lonely hearts) but I believe it is taken more seriously here. Who would write to ‘Lonely Hearts’ at home? Unattractive, perverted, fat or smelly people? Well, and those whose excuse is the ‘lack of opportunities due to lack of time’. (Sure, we believe that, don’t we?) And do they actually advertise in order to get married? If not completely right, I sense I’m at least approaching the lonely heart population sample in Europe. (Believe me, I’ll be happy to learn I’m not right!)
Nonetheless, it is nearly everyone in India. No wonder there are so many lonely hearts – there are too many people. Having said that, they are not really lonely hearts, they are ‘I’m looking for a spouse’ types. Moreover, their hearts are rarely lonely. They’d often be dating somebody knowing they cannot marry her/him for obvious ‘family’ reasons. So while enjoying themselves before the burdensome marriage waiting ahead, they start to look for a ‘more suitable’ person.
The questionnaire itself is rather revealing. There is no need to question the boxes on age, height, weight (well, maybe yes) or number of children. Nonetheless, complexion and body type are a bit unpleasant. The standard answer for complexion is ‘fair’. This really matters, no one wants to marry you if you are ‘dark’ (thus all the bleaches in facial creams). For body types, most males answer ‘athletic’. I try hard to remember but I haven’t seen many athletic male bodies in Chandigarh. I suppose no one would put ‘fat’, which is quite understandable but the answer ‘I’ll tell you later’ is rather suspicious. Though still one of the most popular for all the rubrics!
Another thing that struck me is the mandatory section on annual income. Talks about salary are very common here. You will often be asked how much you earn, which would probably be considered impolite if not rude at home. But this is what we call cultural difference so one should learn how to cope with that. I have been explained that parents ought to know about their future son’s-in-law income (daughters do not work as much and even if they do, they do not earn as much in most cases) to make sure he’ll provide a sustainable living for their daughter (and themselves if needed).
In the section on lifestyle you have to state whether you’re veg or non-veg and whether you drink and smoke. In the religious and social background section, you’re asked about your religion, cast or sect and sub-cast. I do not quite understand what is meant by ‘Family values: moderate’. But it definitely sounds very positive.
So once you’ve filled in the questionnaire, you just attach your photo and a personalized message (very funny to read) and… wait.
When you go through the Looking for a Bride section, you’ll find quite a few ads asking for a ‘homely’ girl. I’m not sure they know the full meaning of the word. Why would anyone want an unattractive and boring wife?
Anyway, if you are keen on newspaper ads rather than Internet, the Hindustan Times offers a matrimonial section (five pages of ads, ads, ads) as a regular Sunday supplement.
In conclusion, I think there are far too many ads and as they seem quite repetitive (fair, smart, clever, good-looking, athletic, well-educated… whatever), I gave up soon. Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I’ve missed my life chance. Who cares?
If you’re looking for your perfect (Indian) match, try one of the following:
http://www.shaadi.com/,
http://www.jeevansathi.com/,
http://www.a1im.com/,
http://www.godblessmatrimonials.com/ ,
http://www.matrimonials.com/ ,
http://www.matrimonialsindia.com/Good luck!
PS: I've just realized it's Valentine's tomorrow. That's a great coincidence! But maybe I have just helped somebody!
HORSE riding I mean. Or pony riding. That's me scared before. (Eventhough it was me who came with that idea!) A horse?!?
Udoli Kullu spolu s mestem Kullu, ktere je hlavnim centrem cele oblasti, maji mnohe atrakce, vcetne sirnych vridel, chovu angorskych kraliku, chramu a rucne vyrabenych Kullu sal. Nemene lakave je vyzkouset si cestu autobusem na naprosto mrnavych uzouckych cestach. Vzdavam hold indickym ridicum autobusu, umi se vyhnout druhemu autobusu na ceste, kde je misto sotva pro jedno auto, a nespadnout pritom ze srazu.
A zase ty Himalaje... Neco malo fotek z Manali, Himachal Pradesh. Pestuji se tam jablka (v celem Himachalu), lide vypadaji vic "horalsky", jsou take ovlivneni tibetskou kulturou a jsou milejsi, vic se usmivaji. Projeli jsme se na konikach, nebo spis ponikach, nahrali si nohy v sirnych vridlech, zkoulovali se a uzivali prekrasnych rozhledu.
