Varanasi

Chai or Tea?

ACT 1
Scene: On a train

Characters:
A person selling tea (chai-wallah)
A group of white foreigners
Other passengers in the background



Chai-wallah is passing by, shouting in an unpleasant voice : Chai! Chai! Garam chai! Chaaaaaaai!!

He notices the foreigners in the corner of his eye at the very last moment as he passes them. He freezes, turns on his heels, puts on his loveliest smile ever and says in a very sweet voice: Would you like some tea? Some tea? Tea?

Foreigners shaking their heads: No, thanks.

Chai-wallah shrugs his shoulders and returns to his: Chai! Chai! Garam chai! Chaaaaaaai!

(CURTAIN)

Meena Got Her First Socks

YTTS Chandigarh (www.ytts.org) opened a new centre in the slum in sector 25 and with the money donated by the governor's wife they bought some presents for the kids.
That's how Meena got her first socks ever.
It took some time and effort to put them on. Her feet were very cold and also full of sores but after some time we both succeeded. Other kids were curious to see what was going on and made a circle around. So when she finally got the socks on, she had an audience to proudly show her precious possession to.

All You Wanted to Know about Homosexuality...

Reading the Indian most serious newspaper, Hindustan Times, can be informative, educational, amusing, but sometimes also very sad. Last Monday they published an article on homosexuality. Two university students were asked to express their views (one representing the ‘for’ and the other ‘against’). Well, to say I was shocked would not be an exaggeration. The guy who says homosexuality is okay has rather weak arguments, whereas the girl (“a final year student from the Department of Psychology, Punjab University”) seems very firm and confident about her opinion:
I have learnt from her that homosexuality is just a recent trend, that it can be stopped if people of the same sex don’t live in the same room, that it should not be discussed as debates actually stir this “concept”, and that you are most likely to become a lesbian when your boyfriend cheats on you.
Hearing this from an Indian is not too surprising considering cultural values in India. Stereotypes here are stronger than you can imagine. However, discovering that a young university student (of psychology!) can be so ignorant is rather breathtaking. Finding out that homosexuality will actually lead to human extinction in a country where overpopulation is the biggest issue… that is really ironic.
As most of the arguments below:

Hindustan Times, Monday 9 January 2006

Two ways about it / Is homosexuality natural or an aberration?
When (s)he loves (s)he
…
IT’S A CHOICE
…
If a person derives satisfaction from the same gender than why should it pinch the society?
…
Homosexuality is natural. It’s the conscious decision of the people engaged in the same.
It is acceptable.
Today homosexuality is gaining acceptability. If laws are made abroad then India is also increasing its acceptability quotient.
It should be legalised
It should be legalised so that the homosexuals should not fear the society, police or law. They should be confident and should make it public. For this legalisation is important.
Hypocrisy rules
Indians are hypocrites as compared to people in the west. They want to do everything behind closed doors. Many people indulge in homosexuality but they never speak on the issue.


IT’S AN ABERRATION
…
It is not natural
If homosexuality was natural then why has the trend just caught up? I have never heard of any such a thing in the past. It is a very contemporary concept.
It is situational
Homosexuality is situational. Many factors lead people turn to homosexuality. The situations are responsible for homosexuality and not hormones. In psychology, we have cases, which prove that situations force homosexuality.
Not prevalent in India
India is still far from accepting homosexuality. India has its own culture and values. About 90 percent of the people would vote against homosexuality.
Should not be legalised
If it’s legal then more and more people will be encouraged to try homosexuality. Legalising the concept would mean fanning the simmering fire.
Blown out of proportion
Why are we discussing homosexuality? Discussions, debates and films on the subject are actually informing people and popularizing the concept.
Against natural law
If homosexuality is encouraged and the concept catches on then what happens to the procreation process and the future generations. The human race will eventually extinct!
Factors encouraging it
The growing sexual frustrations, break-neck competitions and hectic lifestyles are encouraging homosexuality. Even the hostel culture is adding to the same. I know of many homosexuals in colleges and universities. Living together and sharing the room leads to possibility of homosexuality.
Homosexuals don’t admit
Homosexuals never admit their sexuality openly and that itself mirrors the reality and they feel uncomfortable with their sexuality.
Gender betrayal
Bad experiences with the member of the opposite sex also encourage the same. If a boy betrays a girl then the girl turns to the members of the same sex. Instilled fear about the opposite sex plays a major part.

(http://www.hindustantimes.com/)

"Linguistic Corner" - Indian English

I have decided to lightly touch upon ‘Hinglish’ or, more appropriately for Chandigarh, ‘Punglish’ (Punjabi English). Does it differ from other Englishes? It does and it does not. What do I find so fascinating about it? Nothing and everything. This is at least how I see it.
First of all, you have to bear in mind that Indians are obsessed with accents. They would ask me if they sound American or British enough. Well, not at all. But can you tell them if you see them so disappointed afterwards? I am sure anyone can easily distinguish an Indian English speaker from other nationalities. Same as you would probably, equally easily, pick up on a French person. Widz pleasure. We all speak with our accents. Even the British and Americans do. And so what? Does that really matter? In my opinion, that’s the fun of English. So many different forms and still some kind of unity. Unfortunately, this view is not commonly accepted in India. English, I mean ‘proper’ (whatever that actually means) English, is a status symbol here. Strange, considering it is the language of their colonizers. Anyway. You have to sound ‘other-than-Indian’. That is a must. Young Indians even have to go through special ‘we’ll-train-your-accent’ courses before joining their dream jobs in numerous call centres. With the following explanation: when customers call from the UK, you have to be able to speak ‘their English’ (same for the US). They would then feel more comfortable and satisfied with your service. Uh-huh. So they are even trained to switch from one accent to another. How exciting. Do you think it’s worth trying to explain that everyone knows ALL call centres are based in India? And that you should not be ashamed of the way you speak? Moreover, do you really think you can dramatically change your accent within a two-week course? All efforts in vain.
The saddest thing of all, however hard they try to improve and polish their accents (thus pronunciation), you can hardly buy flour in India if you do not pronounce it as ‘floor’. It is quite funny buying a kilo of floor every month. If you want to buy glue, you better ask for a glow, and the distinction between tree and three is absolutely none.
Another quite annoying specificity is the passion for abbreviations. Honestly, during my first week here I did not believe we were speaking the same language: I was asked what my TP was, whether I lived in a PG and worked for an NGO. The only sensible reply that came to my mind was that of ‘Yes, I work for FBI and CIA’ thinking that I have to answer in abbreviations too, and could not think of other than these silly two. Later on I learnt that TP stands for ‘timepass’ (by which they mean pastime, so they basically wanted to know what I do in my free time), PG is a paying-guest type of accommodation and NGO is short for non-governmental organization. I’ve got nothing against shortening words but how the hell am I supposed to know all this?
A final point to be made is that of ONLY. Only. If this word is not a regular insertion in your vocabulary, you’d better do something about it. Especially talking about numbers. On any kinds of receipts or tickets this is a standard. You rewrite numbers in words with ‘only’ as a closing part. So if you pay 400 rupees, in words you pay ‘rupees four hundred only’. If only.

Barista Cafe Day Thought

"I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and have bought jewellery."

Kids

Mussoorie - Misery?

We spent our New Year's Eve in Rishikesh. The hotel manager organized a nice party with cake, drinks and snacks. However, the most surprising event was the snowfall in the middle of the night just in the room where we were all sitting. Do you know you can make wonderful snow flakes by spraying shaving foam all over the place?
For New Year's Day we moved to Mussoorie. And soon renamed it Misery. The Himalayas are not always pleasant. We had some fog, hail storm and even a bit of a real snowfall. Very cold. And with no electricity almost romantic.
Happy New Year.

Novy rok v Rishikeshi byl paradni i s umelym snehem (zkuste to nekdy s penou na holeni, fakt to funguje). Mussoorie je horska vesnicka, z niz jsme toho moc nevideli, protoze tam byla desna mlha. To jen, abyste si nemysleli, ze Himalaje jsou vzdycky jen krasne. Nejsou. Nekdy se vazne tesite zpatky do teplejsiho Chandigarhu.
Stastny novy rok.

Small Talk

An Indian guy trying to attract my attention hoping to start a conversation:

"Excuse me, ma'am. Excuse me."

Me - losing my patience with all those I-just-wanna-talk-to-ya-ma'am types:

"No! YOU excuse me!" (and f*** off)


This is an example of how India may affect you. Sometimes you simply can't stand being the centre of attention anymore.

Christmas in Chandigarh